Rules for Quantum Golf

Most of the Rules for Quantum Golf!

Quantum Golf has similar objectives and rules of Non-Quantum Golf except when it doesn’t!

The game is concluded when the player has placed at least one quantum ball in quantum holes one through eighteen.
A player may not know the position of the ball and the lay of the course at the same time.
The lay of the course may change in the middle of play and the probability that the lay of the course may change increases as the player gets the ball closer to the hole.
No two players playing the same hole may have the same score at the same time.
The total momentum of all the quantum balls in play must remain constant but the individual momentum of all quantum balls in play can shift.
Once a player starts to play a hole they must finish that hole before proceeding to another.
The hole to be played next will be randomly assigned and does not exclude holes already played. Thus while it is possible for a player to play only eighteen holes it is highly improbable. And while it can be proved* that players will play a finite number of holes it is always advised to pack a lunch.

*The Nickerson Special Exclusion Theory (Nickerson et al. University of Scotland, 1987) states that there exists one and only one player who will end up playing an infinite number of holes and that all others must play a finite set of holes. This has also been known as the Nickerson (Some Poor Schlep) Theory.

Since it can be shown that the ball and the hole cannot exist in the same place at the same time, holes or balls have a nasty tendency to disappear at the instant when the ball theoretically sinks into the previously present hole. It is therefore important to either repeat the putt a sufficient number of times to create a reasonable data set from which to statistically infer that a hole has been played, or have a reliable referee watch the putt. It is also advisable to have plenty of extra balls.
Be cautious when playing negative holes as undesirable matter-antimatter reactions can occur.
It is advised that players practice exceptional courtesy when playing a sand-trap as all sand-traps are shared among parallel realities and the person in your way may be an alternative you! This is also why it is important to personalize your ball for easy identification.
Patience is also recommended as temporal discontinuities can occur and the person that is delaying your tee-off at the next hole may be yourself.
Losing a ball in a water hazard costs either -1/3 or +2/3 of a stroke, unless it is while playing a negative hole where it will cost +1/3 or – 2/3 of a stroke.
Since no game may end in a non-whole number water hazards must be played until a whole number is attained.
There has been some suggestion that players can encounter a nineteenth hole. It is theorized that this is a virtual hole. If a player finds himself playing a nineteenth hole it is advised to play it as quickly as possible as it may pop out of existence (along with the player) before the player has finished. The other possibility is to get as drunk as possible under the silly notion that if it can’t be measured accurately it will exist for a longer period of time. This is known as the Schrodinger-Jack Daniels Option. **

**A similar (and far wimpier) strategy for ‘playing’ the nineteenth hole exists for non-quantum golf players.

For an even more exciting game, check out the rules for Relativistic Tennis!